(This was written a while back)
Last night I cried myself to sleep thinking of all my mommy fails. And today I am thinking of all my fails as a daughter.
What will I do with these failings and the misery I feel from them? I know that I need to reframe them. I know that I need to forgive myself. I know I need to turn loose of these feelings and not let them drag me down. I may need to ask my children’s forgiveness or not. Do I ask forgiveness for being human? Do I ask forgiveness for making mistakes? I look at my children and the beauty and wonder I see in them and know that either I did something right or God was gracious to over-ride my terrible shortcomings. I know it is God’s goodness!
Recently I was sharing in ladies’ Bible class about feeling guilty about not scrapbooking my children’s childhood and other things. I was amazed at what relief I saw in the other women in my class. First, let me say that I think it is an absolutely beautiful gift to give your children scrapbooks and pictures of their childhood. I will add IF you desire to do that and IF you are able to do that. There just was never enough of me to do that! The thing I learned from this was how huge the expectations we place on ourselves. Women expect a lot from themselves and buy into the lie that we have failed as a mom or wife if we don’t do…..a whole list of things. We also assume every woman does the things we find impossible to do. We also try to live up to an image of what the perfect mom or wife is/or does. We all have limitations.
Despite my shortcomings, HE has done something beautiful. And despite the humanness of my children, HE has done something beautiful. Now it is up to them what they do with what God has blessed them with. I also, have to acknowledge that it is up to me to make the best of what God has given me and the opportunities he has blessed me with. Let us love with the love of God. For love covers a multitude of sins and mistakes.