This morning Gabriel picked us up to take us shopping. He frequently drives as a transport for others. He has a nice little car which I learned he paid for with the funds from his maize field. A profitable field! He ordered the car from Japan in December and it arrived about a month later. Not many own a car but this is the usual way of purchasing a car.
The original plan was to go to the schools today and give away some school supplies to the teachers and classes. The primary school is on strike again. They did not get paid during the shutdown with Covid. So they are on strike. With the exception of the class due to take annual testing. They can still go to school.
We decided we would not cancel our transport but go ahead and do some shopping. Our first stop was Manyamula to check with the printer about some replacement copies and to exchange a mini soccer ball that would not inflate. There were many people waiting in Manyamula for transport to Mzimba. We had an extra seat so we gave our okay for him to take on another passenger. He was a little concerned about how we would feel about it.
Transport – Typical sight
So we had a pleasant trip to Mzimba for shopping. I made several stops to pick up printer paper, oil, water, and rice. I also went to my favorite store Hesams for beef and chicken. The printer is still working on our copies and has taken the printer to his house to get more done. We will get the copies later or he will send them with someone coming to Tombolombo. We headed for home. I thanked Gabriel and paid him 10,000 K for helping us shop.
My favorite meat storeShopping at Big Mart
In the afternoon I decided I should have bought snacks for the sewing workshop. Raphael agreed to take me by motorcycle to Manyamula. This time he was not near as slow and easy as our first trip but we made it in good condition. I purchased some small bags so that our sewing group could sort buttons and have them ready for the clothes they were making. I also got 12 packages of cookies before we headed to the house.
Isaiah has come to the house twice today. Once this morning and again in the evening. This is no easy task as he lives several kilometers away. His study group is working hard to complete their courses before we leave Malawi.
Our friend and neighbor Cadamanja stopped by to drop off Wanangwa and say hello! It’s always nice to see him. He is so friendly and loves the work we are doing here.
I am still doing last-minute packing and sorting. This is our next to last night in Tombolombo. In two days we say goodbye and head to Lilongwe.
I am so excited to find organic veggies. During our meet and greet at church this morning I met someone I had never met before. I asked John what he did and he said, farmer. After church, I saw some people at his car getting produce! I was so excited so being my nosy self I had to go see if he had any I could buy. I am posting some beautiful pictures! We will be making salsa! I’m also excited to try these mini eggplants.
Many people go to great lengths to avoid taking their children to the grocery store. You may think I have lost my mind when I say that I think you SHOULD take your children to the grocery store and that I think you should start while they are very young. This doesn’t mean I think you should never shop alone but I feel I have some very good reasons for you to take them.
First, let me deal with your objections.
You do not know how my children behave. Your children really are not that different than most other kids. I have taken many children to the grocery store. I have witnessed many children in the grocery store. I have worked in a grocery store and seen the daily behavior of parents and children. I have seen children it would be a joy to shop with and children that would be every parent’s nightmare to take shopping. So I have witnessed many behaviors. So I probably have a little bit of an idea.
I spend more money when I take my children. Maybe you do. Is that really your children’s fault? Are you reinforcing bad behaviors? Are you in charge of this mission or are they? Do they control your behavior?
It takes me more time to shop when I take my children. This may very well be true at the beginning. It doesn’t have to always be this way though. Soon it will save you more time, money, and make your life a whole lot easier. Soon you may have teenagers who can take your shopping list and shop for you because they will know how! It is worth the sacrifice! Learn to enjoy this time with your children!
Maybe you have a choice to take your children or not. I didn’t have a choice for many years. My husband worked long days. It wasn’t easy. There were times my children filled the cart and it didn’t leave me much room to add the food! Or I would get stopped so often by curious people to tell me how cute my children were, or to ask, “are they all yours?” It isn’t easy but teaching them to help and to obey makes it a whole lot easier. Soon though I had built in babysitters which will happen eventually to all moms who have 11 children. I actually had a choice. I quit taking my younger children to the store with me. One day I realized they really had not been trained to behave properly in the grocery store or taught how to do smart shopping. I had to change my behavior! Sometimes I would take just one and enjoy some one on one time with them. Other times I would take them all! By this time each one could take a part of the list and go and get the needed items. We needed at least two shopping carts anyway!
I would like to share some of my thoughts about taking your children to the grocery store.
Training
The grocery store is a great training ground. If you have previously had bad experiences in taking your children to the grocery store then plan more time for this shopping trip and maybe the next few trips. You are going to invest in the future of your children and in your own future. Before you go into the grocery store get your shopping list ready (If your children are usually really out of control then take a short list!).
Before you go in the store tell your children what behavior you expect. Do you know what you expect? If not think about it. I expect my children to listen to me, to walk beside me or ride in the cart if they are younger. I expect them to help if possible. They can help by reading the list or getting three cans of tomatoes. Most children like to help. I do not allow them to ask for things unless I ask their opinion about which item we should buy. I do not allow them to run. I do not allow them to scream or raise their voices. I do not allow them to demand anything! They may ask questions and carry on a conversation. If you’ve had bad experiences you may feel a little apprehension but act with complete confidence. Do not threaten your children. Do not tell them some great and wonderful thing you will do for them IF they behave. Do not take toys or electronics to entertain your children. They will listen and behave better if you leave those behind.
If your list is on your phone use it for that. On this occasion, however, do not answer calls or texts while you are shopping. Give your focus to your mission and your children. Many times if we are on the phone we get so distracted that we forget what we have come for and take a lot longer to shop or we let our children get totally out of control. So turn off your ringer and interact with your children.
If your children grumble and complain while you are shopping or doing errands ask them to stop. If they continue to complain, scream, or in some way act up you may have to remove them from the store and discipline them in the car or take them home if necessary. Or come up with a strategy to enforce at the appropriate time depending on how badly this is going. You must win this battle. Perhaps there is a favorite toy they will want to play with later or a favorite game or movie or a friend they want to visit. Something they DO care about, maybe more than obeying you at the moment. When the subject comes up or they run asking if they can play, visit, watch that movie, etc. tell them NO. Let them know this is because of their behavior and stick with your decision. Do not give in to the temptation to reward them for promising to behave next time. You probably have an idea of what discipline will work best. Whether it is spanking, taking away privileges, or giving chores, etc. If you do not know what will work best then watch your child and think about what will work best.
You have a very important lesson to teach perhaps one of the most important in their young childhood. They must learn to obey! If they do not obey, there are consequences. I was told by a very wise lady to “take great pains with your children while they are young and you won’t have much trouble when they are older.” I believe most children will need spanking at some point in their early years. They do not understand reasoning when they are very young. You cannot explain and reason well enough to keep a two-year-old from running in the parking lot or running in front of moving cars. Physical pain is the best teacher in some circumstances. They need to learn early to obey and that there are consequences when we do not obey. There will always be rules and there are reasons for those rules. Plan to stick with your mission. Your mission is to train your children to obey you in the grocery store and anywhere else you take them and get your grocery shopping done.
Education
Not only will this be behavior training but it will teach your children life skills. Grocery shopping is a very basic skill. Most of us eat at least 3 meals a day. Teach your children the cost of food, the value of food and how to select food. You can also use it for math lessons. You can let your children weigh the vegetables and calculate the cost. Your children will be surprised at the cost of food. Teach your children how to compare shop. What is cheapest by the package? What is cheapest by the ounce? This will save your children money down the road. Teach them how to read labels and why to read labels. This will teach them nutrition. There are so many things they can learn in the grocery store.
Other Benefits
You meet all kinds of people in the grocery store. Older, younger, rich, poor, etc. Kids find people interesting. And people especially older people enjoy seeing children out doing everyday things. Being enjoyed by others is esteem boosting. Learning to obey your parents and behave will also have inner rewards for your children. Once they learn to behave they may be appalled at the behavior of other children. It is humiliating for the parents and the children and others who witness misbehaving children. Young children will feel secure knowing they are not in charge.
A trip to the grocery store can open a world of opportunities. Your children will help you and learn to help others.
Many people go to great lengths to avoid taking their children to the grocery store. You may think I have lost my mind when I say that I think you SHOULD take your children to the grocery store and that I think you should start while they are very young. This doesn’t mean I think you should never shop alone but I feel I have some very good reasons for you to take them.