When I was in my 20’s we moved to Seattle, Washington… well, actually it was Burien. We were there to start a house church. We had read, How the Church Grows in the City. We were on a mission. We lived in Seahurst Manor (400 + apartments) where we came to know several of our life long friends as a result.
After we had been there a few months and were settling in I decided to put an ad in our newsletter that went out to all of the residents. I advertised for a Ladies’ Bible Study. The first night 3 women showed up. Surprise! This started what would be one of the greatest learning experiences of my life. We met every Wednesday night, to begin with. We held it in our apartment. I had three little ones so they could go right to bed or play quietly in their rooms.
Lawrence still worked varying shifts and usually late. He was working for a plumbing company and preaching for our little house church that started with our family and soon added our neighbors and friends.
Soon other ladies’ came to join our small Bible study group. During the three years that I had the group there came to be 40+ ladies who participated. To begin with, most were unchurched and had never been involved with a Bible study group and were new to Bible study. This group came to be a huge time of growth for us all.
As a young woman, I longed for an older woman to learn from, to seek advice from, a mentor in the spirit of Titus 2. I prayed for such and continued on studying and praying with these women. To begin with, I did all of the teaching and leading prayers. Our prayer time together became a huge part of what we did together. Sometimes we would pray for an hour. We grew together in so many ways. We were a great encouragement to one another. No one wanted to miss these studies. If anyone had to miss they would call and ask for prayer. Soon some who were Christians joined the group. We stretched and others began to teach some lessons and lead prayer. Many of us were young mothers, some were Doctors, engineers, construction workers, inspectors, etc. We were a mixture and we loved sharing our lives together.
I have been thinking lately about those days and how hard it was for me to find an older Christian woman. I think I now know why it was so hard to find a mentor. As I have grown older one thing I have learned is that most older women don’t have confidence that they have anything to share. I have learned that we think in terms of our mistakes and mess ups and shortcomings. We know that we are not the ideal role model. We are insecure. We don’t know how to share. Most women are not Bible class teachers and don’t know where to begin. I was determined back then to one day be that older woman, flaws and all, who would share and mentor young women. I would pray that I would have something to share when I was finished raising my family.
I am so thankful to the women in my life who have taught me so many things. I am thankful for my first teacher, my mother, then aunts, grandmas, teachers, and Bible class teachers. I studied the Bible and other books that were a great source of instruction for me as I learned. As I grew older I learned from other women, especially my mother-in-law and a few older Christian women when I could persuade them to share with me. From all of the women in my life, I learned practical skills such as cooking, cleaning, sewing, Bible lessons, lessons on being a good Christian wife, mother, sister, caring for elderly parents, etc. The women I have learned the most from were not just Bible class teachers, in fact, many may not have ever taught a Bible class. They taught me by example. They taught me by doing things with me, ordinary everyday things. They taught me by simply living their lives before me. As a young woman, I longed for even more of these times.
Do young women still want an older woman to learn from? If you are a young woman what do you wish for? What do you want to know and learn? Do you prefer to learn from books, working alongside someone, trial, and error?
I am truly wanting insight into what young women want today so please share in the comments here or feel free to send me a private email: redaredding@gmail.com
This is such a lovely blog post. I’ve been in a unique situation for most of my teens and 20’s where I am more often surrounded by older women and not those my own age. Often though, except for the case of my mother, I am the one mentoring them. I do long to have more women with wisdom and knowledge on subjects that myself or my mother don’t obtain. For instance, I’ve wanted to learn how to sow clothes for years but the only person that has any knowledge on the subject is my father and he has a busy work schedule. I gain most of my knowledge from my parents or researching online but it would be nice to have more woman I could learn from in my day to day life.
Thank you so much for sharing. Remember to pray and ask God to bring that older woman into your life and then keep your eyes open.
We actually started a mentoring group at the church I am a member of. Each group has a mix of older and younger women. We call it Titus 2 Groups. Mentoring is very important! 🙂
This is wonderful! Please feel free to share the structure or plan for the groups. I would love to hear more!
Your desire to have a mentor when you were younger is my desire today! In fact, it has been for years now. For me, I feel insecure about approaching an older woman to ask her to be my mentor, for fear of rejection. However, I feel like the relationship between older and younger women is ordained and prescribed in scripture, so I need to be courageous and put myself out there by asking an older woman to mentor me. I wish there was more discipleship going on in the church in general, and then maybe it would be easier to establish these relationships, as they would be more a part of church culture.
Thanks so much for sharing. I think if you ask the older woman if you could talk with her sometime you will get a great response. I think older women are sometime afraid of the term mentoring.
I really appreciate your thoughts! I agree that older female Christian role models are very important. As a young Christian woman I love to learn from older Christian women. Reading books can be very beneficial, but it is not the same as listening to someone you know teach from their own life experiences. I also find it very helpful to have a mentor when I am in a situation I don’t know how to handle. Since they know me personally I have found that I get better help from them rather than a book. I also think things like cooking and sewing are better taught in person by someone who has years of experience.
Thanks for sharing! Also, spending time with older women will make it easy when you go through situations to ask their help. As you said they know you already! Great!
I absolutely love this. You have and always will hold such a special piece of my heart.You taught me countless lessons in life, being a humble woman, being a supportive wife,and mostly how to be an amazing mother. I cherish so much of what I witnessed in your home. Between you, Linda, Carol, Ann and a few others. I am extremely blessed with older women who took me in as one of their own and taught me by example of what family can and should be. I am who I am today because of these Godly Women (including you) who showed me that even through struggles there was/is always a light at the end of every trial.
So I guess my answer is YES! it’s so important to have the wisdom and strength of a woman who has lived life,been through similar struggles, danced on the edge of the same cliffs and overcome the moments when their faith has been tested. It is a priceless gift to have women in our lives to hold us up and hold us accountable when life gets in the way of what’s most important.
Thank you so much! Love this of course 🙂 You have been especially blessed to have these women in your life. I too were blessed by these women and you! So many are not as blessed.
I have often longed for some older women to mentor me. Instead, I usually find myself teaching Bible classes Sunday and Wednesday, homeschooling my four children, and teaching in our co-op. I grow tired of the sound of my own voice! I am painfully aware of how much I need to learn. Real life problems need the wisdom that older people have. So many times I just don’t know what to do. My mother is and has always been there for me. But at 60 years old, even she wishes for a mentor sometimes.
Thanks so much for sharing. Jessica, it is ok to say no sometimes! I understand the situation though and your mom’s situation. We never outgrow the need for support and encouragement from our sisters no matter what age we are.