41 years of marriage! Wow! How could I possibly be married that long? Today is NOT my anniversary in case you are wondering. But I have learned a few things after being married for 41 years though not nearly as much as I should have! Today I am going to share just a few things I have learned in 41 years of marriage and who knows maybe another time I will share a few more.
Early Marriage
When I was first married and still a college student at Freed-Hardeman I met a lady. I so wish I had met her more than one time. Monda Alexander introduced me to an older lady who was visiting campus. Unfortunately, I cannot remember her name. She was so excited when she learned that I was a newlywed. As we sat in the booth at the Lion’s Pride, this sweet lady shared some of her wisdom with me and I have never forgotten that meeting.
She told me that the huge love I felt for my husband would one day seem small compared to what it would grow to be. At the time I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it but I believed her. I think of her every few years when I consider how much my love for my husband has grown.
The naive girl is long gone but my love for my husband has only grown more and more as the years pass.
A Few Things I Have Learned in 41 Years of Marriage
Love grows, and grows.
Having a family is a lot of work but gives many opportunities to grow and multiply your love through family. Love for each other and each new addition. There is always more love to go around.
Commit to God and Pray
Commit to God. Marriage is a lot of work even under the best circumstances. Being committed to God and each other is key! Remember to pray for your marriage.
Sometimes there will be misunderstandings and that’s okay. Assume the best motives for each other.
Some seasons are hard but you will grow personally and as a couple through life’s ups and downs.
Don’t give up during the hard times. It will get better!
Dates
Make time for each other. Sometimes monthly dates or sometimes weekly it depends on your season of life. Maybe just movie nights at home when your kids are little or adding a candle to the dinner table after the littles are down for the night.
First Baby?
During the time we had the most teens at home we had weekly dates which turned into parenting meetings at times. We couldn’t go very far lest there be too much excitement at home. (there are stories). We would go to a little Mexican restaurant on the edge of town. (I was expecting my 10th child). One day the owner asked if this was our first baby. We laughed. After he was born we took the whole family to eat one day and they were a bit surprised or maybe shocked.
Listening and eye contact are important. These things say you are important to me. This applies to everyone not just spouses.
Building a great marriage takes work and dedication. It is worth it!
Study at being a better mate. You can only change you. It’s worth it! When you put in the effort to improve yourself surprising things happen.
Laughter is the Best Medicine
Laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes there is just no other appropriate response. Laugh often! This is one of the big things I appreciate about my husband. He can always bring a smile and a laugh to even tough situations.
Sleep solves a lot of problems. Food doesn’t hurt either.
Overlook some things. One day when you are looking back you will realize some things were not as important as you may have thought at the time. Some not even worth mentioning.
Respect your mate.
Be considerate and kind. It always pays!
Show appreciation. You will notice it comes back to you.
Little things mean so much. A little Hershey’s chocolate bar or Diet Coke can go a long way in showing love or saying I’m sorry or thank you.
Make your mate feel special. Learn what speaks love to him. Learn his love language.
Keep getting to know your mate. Even after all these years I still learn new things about my husband all the time. He still surprises me.
Come grow old with me the best is yet to be.
